Monday, June 06, 2005

I'm Starting a New Club

The membership is fairly exclusive -- though not as much as you might guess. I'm calling it the "National Association of People At Whom Russell Crowe Has Thrown Things." In order to be eligible to join, you have to have had Russell Crowe lob some inanimate object at you. You can't have just been standing near where something he threw landed. No, no... that won't do. This is a much more selective group. You have to have had him target you, then lob said object in your direction, whether he succeeded in hitting you or not (he missed me completely).

I'm the only card-carrying member so far, but I'm sure once word gets out, our membership base will grow by leaps and bounds. Why, there's a hotel employee in New York whose attained eligibility status just this very weekend. Apparently, Russell's hand-eye coordination has improved drastically -- this time, he actually made contact.

We're sending a membership packet, complete with bumper sticker and complimentary tote bag, to the concierge of the Mercer Hotel, at the first available opportunity.

~C~
P.S. Russell Crowe is big, fat weenie. ~C~

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