Wednesday, April 23, 2008

This Just In -- Apparently, China is Trying to Kill Us.

The poisoned toothpaste was hilarious. The tainted pet food was still, let's face it, pretty funny. And the lead-coated baby toys, though annoying, still managed to amuse us. But now that this item* -- which thanks to the insanity of the current presidential election, has slipped by nearly unnoticed -- has come forward, informing us that China has now managed to poison the commonly used blood thinner, heparin, likely resulting in the deaths of 81 Americans... Well, a joke's a joke, but this time, China's just gone too far.

How much longer are we going to go on accepting these products, knowing full well that China really doesn't care whether our pets, our children or our great Uncle Moe with the cellulitis drops dead. Hell, China doesn't give a crap about its own people; why on Earth should it care about ours? Can we please just admit that this whole "free trade with Communist China" thing was a boondoggle, cut our losses, and go back to doing business with Taiwan? Please?

Back in the 60s and 70s, the Taiwanese didn't try to kill us. They didn't poison Fido or Mittens, or try and damage little Jimmy's autonomic nervous system with copious amounts of lead. They didn't off old people with blood clots and premature babies in neo-natal intensive care units across America by tainting blood thinners. I mean, they're kind of pissed at us right now, so who knows what they might be driven to? But China has shown its true colors. It goes and beats up a nice old guy like the Dalai Lama. It poisons our stuff. It designs these cussed ugly little mascots for the Beijing Olympics.

Clearly, China hates us. Let's just face that, embrace it, and move on.

Lord Ahmighty.


*from the Christian Science Monitor

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