Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Dear Undecideds -- Another Reason to Vote for Barack Obama

It's been tough an you. I know you are tearing your hair out with the gravity of your decision come November 4th. I get that. And, believe me, I want to help.

So, here's another reason to vote for Barack Obama. A vote for Barack Obama is a vote against Joe the Plummer. Turns out that, in spite of Mr. Wurzelbacher's protestations that he is "no Matt Damon," he actually really does think he's Matt Damon. Or at the very least, Dan Quayle. In any case, he's making the rounds, talking at McCain rallies, spreading some more hate speech by agreeing with a McCain supporter that an Obama presidency would mean the death of Israel. In the same way that Joe didn't let a little thing like not buying a business keep him from saying he was buying a business, and not being a plumber keep him from saying he was a plumber, Joe (real name, Samuel) didn't let a little thing like not having any foreign policy expertise stop him from expressing an opinion on one of the touchiest foreign policy issues facing the next president. Later, during an interview, Wurzelbacher told Fox News' Shepard Smith that his opinion that Obama was anti-Israel was based on "Obama's actions" -- namely, agreeing to meet with Iranian President Ahmadinejad without any pre-conditions.

"[. . .] the fact that he has said it he would meet with Ahmadinejad is something that you have taken to believe would be the death of Israel?" Smith asked incredulously.

"It definitely doesn't help the situation," said TardBoy. Then, possibly startled by an errant thought that might have accidentally popped into his head, he kind of backtracked. "I'm not trying to be dancing around this. I honestly want people to go out and find their own reasons. I tell people not to listen to everyone else's opinion. I'm not going to have them start listening to mine. Go out and get informed."


At that point, even Shepard had had enough and ended the interview with his own disclaimer that "I just want to make this 100 percent perfectly clear -- Barack Obama has said and demonstrated repeatedly that Israel will always be a friend of the United States, no matter what happens once he becomes President of the United States. His words. The rest of it -- man...some things--it just gets frightening sometimes." And that's Shepard Smith talking. He works for Fox, so you know he's seen some scary shit.

So, come November 4th, my dear indecisive darlings, vote for Barack Obama, and send SammyJoe back where he belongs -- to Ohio in the dead of winter. My friend, Kim, lives there. She'll tell you, in February, it's as close to hell as anywhere you'll find.


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