Really, no seriously... thank you, Tennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama and the rest of the Deep South. Thank you for showing yourselves to be who you really, really are, and not who you've pretended to be. How proud you all must be that your racist roots as slavery lovers and ex-slave owners still burn so brightly. I can understand why your Confederate flag is so important to you. The symbolism of creating a country founded on the backs of owned humans must make your heart swell with melancholy nostalgia.
Maybe we just should have let the South go back in the 19th century. It's not like we couldn't have adjusted to life without them by now. Imagine where we could have been as a country by now without the festering pustule that is the Southern white supremacist movement. And, we'd have had the extra, added benefit of eliminating the part of the country that would end up being the Bible Belt, too.
It just makes me proud to be an American to know that people who come from people who couldn't get through the day without being fed and dressed by other people that they owned still long for those days of yore. Yes, indeedy.
But don't take my word for it. Watch this documentary by American News Project about the fear of threats and attempts that Barack Obama's victory has aroused in the South.
Thanks, Southern states. You've really shown the best you have to offer. (And if you haven't---if there are, by chance, Southerners who feel very differently---perhaps now might be the time to speak up, or forever hold your peace and be lumped with racist assassins and hate mongers.)
Do you think we should tell white Southerners about this US Census prediction that, by 2050, non-Hispanic white folks will be a minority? Nahhhh... It'll just make them cry like little girls.