Thursday, July 07, 2011

Searching for Enlightenment

So much has been made lately about the significance of certain terms put into search engines, I thought I'd put myself on the hot seat, just to see what I was searching, and what people might glean about me.  In this endeavor, I personally discovered several things about myself.  I spend a lot of time online looking up stuff for work (I'll spare you those boring searches, since, technically, I'm doing it for someone else, and the only thing it will tell you about me is that I really would rather keep my job).  Also, I spend a lot of time looking for a new job (endless searches of studio, law firm, agency and entertainment employment sites).  I've now distilled that information for you in two sentences so we needn't bother with them.  Suffice it to say... I have a job that I do diligently, and I want another one. The end.

Now, on to the random searches -- the searches that come as a result of those momentary thoughts like, "Whatever happened to...?" and "How do you spell...?" or "What does that word/phrase mean?"So, here's the list of my top ten most recent, most intricate searches (searches where I clicked on more than one link to get my answer):

  1. "post hoc ergo propter hoc"
  2. Chicago Manual of Style
  3. TIA transient
  4. seafood stores in the SF Valley
  5. Clarence Clemons
  6. Haley Joel Osment
  7. Applied Minds,LLC
  8. "ergo ipsum"
  9. National Hairball Awareness Day
  10. mendacity definition
Now, for some edification:
  1.  This commonly used Latin legal expression is usually abbreviated to "post hoc". I'm pretty sure I was looking it up to clarify the meaning for an argument with someone about circumcision and infant mortality, or vaccines and autism.  Take your pick. 
  2. The best writers' style reference. Ever. Buy one. (They speak at length about the evils of sentence fragments, I believe.)
  3. TIA = transient ischemic attack. It is a minor loss of blood flow to the brain which is characterized by temporary short term memory loss.  This is not the first time I've looked T.I.A. up.  I just can never remember what it stands for. (Gasp!)
  4. My motto? "Less worry... more lobster...." nuff said.
  5. He passed away this month. I liked his music.  That is all.
  6. Not sure what this was about.  I like HJO.  But why was I looking him up? (CURSE YOU, T.I.A.!!!!)
  7. I've been trying to get someone at this company to interview me for a job -- any job -- for two years now.  I think they think I'm trying to stalk them.  I think I might actually be stalking them. (Dear Applied Minds: Hire me, and I'll leave you alone! Sheesh! love, Amanda.)
  8. "Ergo ipsum lorem..." are the fake Latin phrases used on web templates to indicate where text should go.  I've always wondered if the phrase actually meant anything. "Therefore, you are a big lumbering arse," or something like that.  Alas, it means nothing... (sigh)
  9. There's a whole day... who knew? Well, I do now, cuz I googled it. Of course, by next year, I'll have had so many mini-strokes with my T.I.A. that it'll come as a surprise all over again. 
  10. Mendacity definition... It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know exactly what this mellifluous word actually meant. When I came across a book by conservative Roger Hodges entitled "The Mendacity of Hope", I felt compelled to clarify.  Mendacious means "given to or characterized by deception or falsehood or divergence from absolute truth".  I think for a conservative in this day and age to bandy about the word "mendacity" shows a lot of "audacity", and -- to quote Forrest Gump -- that's all I have to say about that.
So there you have it.  My internet searches.  Convict me, or leave me alone.  Given what seems to be a fairly advanced case of TIA, I won't remember anyhow.  But you can bet, should someone try and use this as evidence against me, my mom won't take the stand in my defense and commit perjury for me.  In her defense, she's been dead for twenty years (Way to dodge a bullet, Mom.).  So I guess I'm on my own here.  Let's hope "ergo ipsum" doesn't become some strange Al Qaeda code phrase, or that Roger Hodges doesn't decide to fly the coup and frame me.

On the upside, what with my T.I.A. and all, I can always claim diminished capacity.

What was my name again?

Oh. Yeah.

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