Monday, December 05, 2011

That Newt... He's Such a Kidder...

(Well, okay, he wasn't kidding, but he was funny, and in the Sowards family, that's often all that matters.)

Newt used to espouse removing poor children from the custody of their parents and placing them in orphanages (because, theoretically, being poor is abusive to children).  That idea kind of went over like a big ol' lead balloon back in '94, when Newt first proposed it. When then-First Lady Hilary Clinton told a news reporter she thought it was terrible idea, Newt recommended that she go to Blockbuster and rent "Boys Town".

Gingrich, pictured here, describing
something really small - his heart, perhaps?
His brain? Some other body part?
Now, Newt has a better idea. Instead of allowing all those kids to laze around and go to school and play sports and hang out with their friends, he has suggested that child labor laws be repealed and kids be put to work. He wants to pull poor kids out of class and have them scrub toilets and mop pee-soaked floors in school restrooms.  Why? Well, because apparently, the poor are poor because they don't work. That's right. Thus, poor kids don't see examples of hard-working people around him.

So, see, the mopping of their classmates piss off the floor will teach poor kids the value of hard work.  Because none of these kids are the product of hard-working single parents (mostly mothers) who struggle constantly to put food on their families' tables.

Earlier today, Gingrich rubbed old wrinkly elbows with faux billionaire and future GOP debate moderator Donald Trump.  These two fops put their heads together and cooked up a scheme to force these poor, put-upon kids in constant contact with Trump by having a mini-"Apprentice"-style mentorship. As if poor kids didn't have enough troubles.

I'm not really sure why Gingrich wants to hurt poor people so badly. But there's a part of me that just wishes he'd walk into a food bank somewhere and just kick one of them in the shins and get it out of his system. Then maybe he'd shut up about it.  I can't even imagine what poor people could have done to him to piss him off so royally. But then, perhaps the crime of being poor is enough.

Week after week, the GOP offers up a new clown to lead their circus parade, and while it is entertaining, I have to admit, it's also sad and disconcerting. The GOP has single-handedly turned America into a walking, talking joke of a country.  How can we expect the world to take us seriously when we've turned our political system into bad reality TV.

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